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Monday, 20 September 2010
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My Best Friend's Wedding
... Not quite, but the engagement party might as well have been the wedding.
Ah, marriage! What a huge step in life. My best friend's getting hitched and I am her maid of honour. I'm her head bitch. I'm her go-to wench. Good thing I'm really fast at cleaning tables. When there is no wait staff there is Vivian. I'm a professional, you know.
How ironic is that the year my best friend is getting married is also the year that I am in a long distance relationship? What kind of bullshit timing is that?! I swear it's the relationship karma. My one poor decision in the past is haunting my present. Am I being punished or is this just an unfortunate coincidence on my end?
As happy as I am for my best friend, I still have trouble comprehending mechanics of marriage. What happens after you seal the deal? What changes? Does everything change? Is this the rest of your life? I'm not at a point in my life where I'm ready to settle down. Perhaps my views on marriage is still very juvenile but I still see it as being the end of the road. There is no more discovery in life because it is time to settle down and have babies. Shit. I'm not ready to have babies! I don't think I'll ever be ready to have babies!
I think all this engagement stuff had gotten me loopy.
Thursday, 09 September 2010
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ADHD
Every two years I undergo some sort of big change. My life is always in constant motion and I find that once things begin to stabilize and stay the same, I start losing interest. My ADHD kicks in and I find every way to crawl out of the hole I've dug myself into. And it probably wasn't even a hole to begin in the first place. I just get bored.
The last six years had been exhausting but I wouldn't have wanted it any differently. That feeling I get... when all the hard work is done is just priceless. It's with that feeling that drives me forward to continue building the best life I could for myself. It's my breath. But I wonder if there's a time in my life when I should just stop striving for whatever it is I'm searching for and just take a pause. Am I capable of staying still? Do I have the ability to settle into a job for more than two years?
My big change this year is going back to school. I begin next Tuesday and the days proceeding cannot pass by any slower. I finished my summer job just under two weeks ago and I already feel myself dying a little. Sure, I'm supposed to enjoy this time off but I can't. I find it boring, unproductive, and a waste of time. Maybe I just don't know how to take a vacation, or in this case, maybe I didn't really need one.
Perhaps my desire for constant change stems from the fact that I'm still searching for something. As happy as I am with my life, I feel like there's still something that I'm not satisfied with. Why am I so hard to please? What exactly is it that I'm looking for?
I hope this year will give me some perspective and nurse my ADHD.
Tuesday, 07 September 2010
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Doing the Long D: Month One
I was furious with life when the bomb dropped. Last October he said, "I'm going to apply to teach English in Japan." I freaked. I almost fled. To me, a long distance relationship was out of the question. I couldn't wrap my head around it. How could two people be together when they are not together?
Well here I am now, still a little angry with life, but I'm in it. Sure, it's killing me a little. When it's bad, it's like a slow agonizing death in one of those hospitals but when it's good, it's... it's just normal. I'm trying to keep it normal. Normal is as good as it's going to get.
Sometimes I have to do a double-take on reality because it's still hard to believe that I'm in a long distance relationship. After years of judging couples who are split apart by provinces, countries and oceans, I now find myself in their shoes. How did this happen? How did I end up as one of THOSE couples? Relationship karma.
I tip my hat to myself for surviving the first month. It's not so bad most of the time, but there are definitely days where I want to crawl into a ball and die. My goal for month two is to start having a little more faith. I need to believe in us a little more.
Monday, 28 June 2010
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How Asian Are You?
Just for giggles. It's here because I don't want this on facebook. Enjoy, my readers... which are probably consists of you, and you.
[x] Both of your parents are from Asia
[x] You were born in Asia
[] You use the term "Azn"
[x] You think DDR is cool
[] You've watched lots of anime
[] You like Korean drama
[] You have stuff hanging on your phone
[] You think your parents want you to marry within your own race
[] You eat rice almost everyday
[x] You drink lemon tea
X's so far: 4
[] You style your hair
[] You have a bebo/myspace/friendster
[x] You speak languages other than English
[] Your parents are strict
[] Your parents have high expectations of you
[x] You always get A's/B's on your report
[] You do Chemistry/Biology/Physics/Accounting
[] You know your multiplication table
[] You play badminton or table tennis or Irish Pingpong
[] You've seen the asian version The Ring/The grudge
X's so far: 6
[] You go/want to go to a university and would NEVER consider an apprenticeship
[x] You own an asian car (Honda, Toyota, etc)
[] You're not the only child
[x] You've gotten little red envelopes around February
[] You know the difference between kung fu, karate and tae kwon do
[] Your mother tries to bargain even though the product is already discounted
[] You can solve a rubiks cube
[x] You have a box of noodles somewhere in your house
[x] You play video games
X's so far: 10
[] Everytime you're going out, your parents ask you where you're going and what time you'll be home
[x] You have karaoke at home
[]You've been to a LAN more than 3 times
[] You have incense sticks/moth balls in your house
[x] You own a gaming console
[x] You don't wear shoes in your house
[x] You can use chopsticks
[] You get nothing if you do well in school, but punished if you don't
X's so far: 14
[ ] Your parents won't let you go out if you have school the next day
[x] You have asian songs on your computer/iPod
[] You don't like football
[] You like Soccer
X's so far: 15
[] You have a curfew
[] You know what ulzzang/tb means
[] You know what purikura is
[] you like bubble tea
[] Your parents bought you shoes many sizes too big so you can "grow into it" and wear it for years to come
[] You've played final fantasy
[] You believe in fortune cookies
X's so far: 15
[x] You know what is bok choy
[x] You've heard the song "Got rice?"
[x] You've had pockys/yan yan before
[] When you ask for your mom's permission, she goes "ask your dad"
Total X's: 18
Multiply your total score by 2 and put the subject as I am 36% Asian
THAT'S IT?!!! -
Disney
... I return once again and Mickey and Minnie still welcomes me with big warm hugs.
What a wonderful vacation that was. What a wonderful way to skip out on this G20 nonsense.
I can't grow out of Disney World. I've been there 7 times and I still get butterflies in my stomach when I'm approaching the Magic Kingdom on the monorail. Maybe I was the kid that got brainwashed by yours truly but there's something so special about these theme parks that I can't get enough of. They make all the bad things disappear and somewhere down the line, you start believing in dreams again. I think we all need a reminder of that now and then.
"A dream is a wish your heart makes"
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